I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize