He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
