I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
