She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
