nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
