If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
