just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
