Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize