Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
