Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
