you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
