didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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