I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
