If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
