let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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