Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
