I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
