Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
