Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
