It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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