AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
