I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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