I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
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Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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