it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
