Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
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apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
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i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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