When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
