I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
