I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Randomize