Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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