My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
