Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
