I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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