As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
