Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
