I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
