You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
