he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
