I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He did a backflip because drugs
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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