I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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