I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
