I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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