physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize