you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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