And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
