I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
