i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
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My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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She has the best kind of daddy issues
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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