You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
