Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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