Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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