I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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