..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize