We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
