Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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