Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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