Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
