I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
